Love, Sweet, Love
by Molly4
Summary: Okay, well it's Clark pining away for Lana. Kinda C/Lana, but not really. I can't believe I even wrote this actually. It's a bit of a drabble I believe, but R&R anyway.


First in the set of a good number of song fics, all using songs from The Goo Goo Dolls, a wonderful band with beautiful, breath-taking songs. This one is using "Iris," my personal fave.  
  
Basically, it's Clark pining away for Lana. Nothing new there. It's not really Clark/Lana, frankly I don't like Lana all that much, but it's kinda from Clark's POV, how he feels. Really, I think this is kinda corny. But please review! Oh, and don't blame me about the title. I've got the song stuck in my head right now.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoiler: "Shimmer"  
  
Disclaimers: Don't own the song. Don't own the characters.  
  
Love, Sweet, Love  
By: Molly  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Clark peered through the telescope guiding it towards the usual spot, Lana's house. Not that he only used it to peep at her or anything, not that he was peeping at her really. Anytime she started to undress he'd politely look away as much as he hormones would allow him.   
  
There was just something about her, something beautiful and pure. She made everything sparkle with that one tiny little smile of hers. Lana Lang. The girl who sprung poetry into the hearts of macho high school boys who's after school activities included burping contests, and making armpit noises. She didn't walk down the halls, she floated.   
  
Clark inhaled sharply as he saw Whitney climbing up Lana's front porch where she was sitting reading a book. Suddenly her holy image was tainted by her lose boyfriend.  
  
All Clark wanted, all he desired was just to touch her skin and feel how real she was. To be able to hold her tight and never let go. He wanted to make her feel safe. To shelter her when she was feeling hurt, or, and this happened often enough, when she was thinking about her parents. He wanted her to look at him like she looked at Whitney, like nothing else mattered, as long as they were together.  
  
Clark shut his eyes tight as he saw Whitney lean in to kiss Lana and Lana drop her book on the porch carelessly. He clenched his teeth.  
  
"Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God," he mumbled, feeling a stabbing pain in his heart. If he was invincible, then why seeing them kiss hurt him more than any bullet ever could?  
  
  
'And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now.'  
  
Lana was no fairy princess. She was better than that. She was an angel. Every time she walked by him, every time she smiled at him, Clark's breath was taken away, and he asked himself the same question over and over, why? Why would a girl like Lana bother to talk to him? He was nothing special, so what did she see in him?   
  
"Clark, dinner!" Martha Kent stood below the loft, calling up to him. Jonathan came up behind her, wiping his hands on an even grimier cloth.  
  
"I'm not hungry," Clark replied, his voice choked up.   
  
"You okay, sweetheart? You feeling okay?" Martha sounded worried. She looked up at Jonathan, who frowned.   
  
"I'm fine. I-I'll eat something later." Clark shook his head trying to get the mental image of Whitney and Lana out of his mind.  
  
"Okay, but come soon," was Martha's finally goodbye.  
  
A response died on his lips. His folks probably knew what he was doing. He wondered how his mother felt, knowing she was harboring a Peeping Tom. Clark knew what his dad was thinking every time he looked at him funny when he went up to his loft.   
  
Truth be told, Clark felt guilty sometimes about doing it. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself. If you could spy on an angel wouldn't you? It wasn't like he was going to make a move on her or anything anyway.  
  
"You had your chance already Kent, and you blew it." Clark sighed.  
  
'And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight'  
  
  
Oh, they'd been so close to taking their friendship one step further. Sitting on her porch that night, the setting was perfect. A starry sky. A beautiful night.  
  
Clark had had all his moves planned out. He was going to pretend to point out a falling star and when Lana looked up, he's kiss her. No thoughts, no cares, zero consequences. At least they wouldn't matter, just as long as Lana found out how he felt. Of course his plan didn't work out. It became a rush of questions and hormones, one word answer, and ever so slowly, the walls between them crumbled, and they were ready to kiss, to press the lips together and forget about boyfriends, forget about it all......  
  
Only it didn't work out like that. Her Aunt Nell walked in on the whole thing, a tight smile on her face. It was obvious Nell was remembering her relationship with Clark's father, one that had lasted a good long time. One that would motivate her to try and talk Lana out of getting serious with him. He knew what had happened between his father and Nell. Clark knew Nell still has a thing for him. He wasn't oblivious to her constant flirting and her occasional peek at Jonathan's jeans, just to see how nicely they fit. It disgusted Clark, but that feeling multiplied when she interrupted them.   
  
Clark would never hurt Lana. He's treat her like the goddess she was. He would remind her every day that he wasn't even worthy enough to breathe the same air she breathed, just so long as he got the chance, to just once, caress her skin, take her in his arms......  
  
But he had to be the Boy Scout. He had to tell her about Whitney's dad. He felt like such an idiot. Whitney had done nothing but dump on him, and Clark saved their relationship in turn. Clark felt unexpected tears form in his eyes. What the hell had he done? Whitney would only hurt her, he knew it. He knew it every time Whitney blew her off to go hang with his friends. He knew it!  
  
'And I don't want the world the see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am.'  
  
  
Nobody understood about his undying love for Lana. Nobody understood that he could love her without truly knowing her. Without knowing her deepest darkest secrets. Chloe passed his crush off with a few sarcastic zingers, while Pete, kind of laughed it off and told him about his latest crush. His parents, well, every time he brought up Lana they exchanged glances, and tried to delicately explain to him why he should look at other girls. Because, like everyone else, they knew he was obsessed with her.  
  
Who could blame him? Clark reasoned. Lana was gorgeous, sweet, sensitive, and most of all, she knew him. She knew all about him. And though nobody else knew it, Clark knew her too. He knew things nobody else knew. He knew how vulnerable and insecure she really was. Clark saw in her what nobody else did. The scared little girl crying out for help. Nobody knew her, especially not Whitney.  
  
When Lana was around, Clark couldn't even look at another girl, which couldn't be said for Whitney's wandering eyes. How could God be so cruel as to give him the most beautiful girl, making her so close, only a mile away, but still too far?   
  
Clark felt a tear trickle down his cheek. His desire, his passion, his want to be with her, it overcame him. It made him fall to his knees and beg out loud for just one kiss, just one date......  
  
  
'And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feel like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.'  
  
  
Clark's love for Lana, it was what made him feel at least relatively normal. It was what made him human, perhaps the only thing that made him human. All he knew was that she made him feel alive. He needed her, and though she didn't know it yet, she needed him.  
  
Lana needed him there, for two strong shoulders to cry on. She needed him there to support her and guide her. She needed him there to show her just how special she truly was. Whitney could not do that for her and he'd never be able to. Clark would give up his soul for her, he'd die for her, he'd give up everything he owned. It was what Lana needed. She needed someone to help her shed that fairy princess costume of hers.  
  
"I know you Lana Lang," Clark whispered to no one in particular. He didn't need his x-ray vision to see what went on in her mind. All her thoughts and fears and dreams, he knew them. He knew them more than he knew his own. And he was willing to listen to them. Willing to sit down by her side and hang on every syllable that came out of her mouth, whether she was talking about her dreams, or just reading off the hot lunch menu.  
  
  
'And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am.'  
  
  
Clark took a deep breath, and peeked through the telescope again. Thank God, they weren't making out again. He didn't think his heart could take much more of that. Whitney was talking on his cell phone. Clark didn't have to look at Lana's face closely to tell that she was upset, but he did anyway.   
  
Sometimes he just wanted to rip that jockstrap's head off for the way he treated Lana. She was an object to him. A play thing. Something that would like nice and pretty on his arm, and he could toss away whenever he wanted. Why was Lana to blind to see that?   
  
Why didn't Lana see all that she was to him, to Clark? He could never settle for being just friends, not when they'd come so close, not when their lips had brushed ever so gently, not when her eyes had revealed a passion, and unlocked the mystery for Clark. She wanted someone who could treat her like Clark did. Someone who could be there like Clark was. But maybe that was it. She didn't want Clark, she just wanted someone like him. And she'd settle for Whitney until that guy came along.  
  
Clark cursed in frustration. What could he do, what could he say, to get Lana to recognize how he felt? To get her to share his feelings?   
  
  
'And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand   
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am.'  
  
  
Clark watched as Whitney drove away in his truck and Lana, sighing, picked up her book and continued reading.  
  
"I want you to know me," he whispered.  
  
Lana suddenly looked up from her book. Clark gasped. Had she heard him? No, it was impossible. Lana glanced around for a few seconds before finally burying herself back in the book. It confused him. It confused her.  
  
What did it all mean?  
  
  
'I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am'  
  
  
~THE END~  
  
R&R 


End file.
